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Things you will only do when you are drunk
Ask for extra-hot chili sauce on your kebab.
Try and get off with your best mate's girlfriend.
Pee in your girlfriend's cupboard/out the window/anywhere except in the bathroom .
Give a running commentary, out loud, on anything you do, even though you're alone (eg, ah'm gonna go into the kitchen, ah'm gonna get myshelf A beer, an' ah'm gonna drink it... thatsh whad am'm gonna do...etc.) .
Get a tattoo/try to tattoo yourself. .
Use classy chat-up lines like: "You've got phemoninal...phemonim.....Great tits. .
Fall down open manholes .
Chuck up in the back of taxis .
Climb onto the roof of bus shelters - to get a better view of the stars, Man .
Pull a moonie .
Think it's really funny to put all your female flatmate's underwear In the freezer compartment .
Make "punch" out of half a bottle of vodka, a bottle of red wine, and Some Strongbow.
Drink it.
Get thrown out of a nightclub for taking all your clothes off .
Sing .
Dance as if you are John Travolta in Saturday Night Fever
And bump into things. And break them. And not give a flying f*** about it .
Make yourself a delicious snack of tomato ketchup on stale white bread .
Decide that the waste bin would look better on your head .
Fall asleep on the stairs, with your trousers around your ankles.
Decide to walk home, even though it's seven miles away.
Fall asleep in a bus shelter.
Fall asleep with a pint glass full of water on your chest, and only spill it when you wake up in the morning.
Steal bottles of milk from doorsteps.
Order the hottest curry on the menu.
Ring up every woman in your address book at 2am and say, "Hi, I was just thinking about you. Maybe we should meet up. Now-ish..." .
Get into a fight with a taxi driver .
Say, "You're my best mate, you are", to people you've just met.
Decide that you and your ex-girlfriend really should be together.
Get really emotional, put on the most morose record in your collection and weep about nothing in particular.
Dig out your photo albums, get even more emotional, ring up old friends who've moved abroad and tell them they're your best mate ever.
Make lots of inadvisable bets.
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fun stuff!
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